is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
