i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
