The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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