How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
