You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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