i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
