somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
