I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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