I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
