she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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