See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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