Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
