my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
