yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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