I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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