brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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