She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
