she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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