i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
