She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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