I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
