i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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