so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
