Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
