girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
17 year olds will be the death of me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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