The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
