Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
