He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
