Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
