Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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