Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
