Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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