HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
