well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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