When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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