im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
