No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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