Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
