I want to stick my p in your. b.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
