Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
