I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i drank out of a bidet.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
