he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
