wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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