He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Randomize
