I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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