Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
