my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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