yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
