i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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