So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
