we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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