but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
