thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
