you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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